Telling Myself to Chill
The past week-and-a-half has been one big stress fest around here. Both kids had midterms to study for (and still do). I've been juggling too many irons amongst too many fires. And colds (thankfully not flus) have made the rounds.
If I think back, I can't recall saying, whispering, or shouting much more than, "Go study!" Much to their distress, I've shoved more healthy foods at my kids than usual, hoping omega 3s, protein, and more fruits and veggies will boost their test scores (I kid you not). I've spent so much time editing, writing, researching, linking, and social media venue building that my fingers don't seem to know what to do without a keyboard beneath them--which is probably why I dropped the milk container this morning while getting my coffee.
Then, at a working meeting with a friend this morning, something snapped. I had run to the back of the adorable cafe we were at because, supposedly, the wireless signal was better back there and my phone was too slow to load a reference site. As I practically ran into the middle and back rooms of the cafe, past a fire place and a very homey environment, my past came back to me. The soothing, creative, freewheeling feeling I used to get when writing at small cafes in Manhattan hit me in such strong contrast to the hectic life I live now that I just ... stopped. I took in my surroundings, breathed, and made myself promise that I would be more than a wild woman behind a keyboard to my kids today. That I would do more than nag, and that I would do exactly what my daughter was begging me to do all week:
We grabbed the "snow markers" she got for Christmas, I ignored my hacking cough, and we chilled out in the windy chill. And I had FUN. Don't get me wrong; all the projects I'm working on have an element of fun to them. It's just that I've left no time to breathe, no time for impulse. So I'm thinking I need more "mom & pop" cafes, less run-of-the-mill Starbuck shops that I move through on my way somewhere else', more time with my Energizer Bunny Girl and fewer excuses for not playing in the snow.